Perspectives on mental health: Local therapists offer guidance for focusing on you

By CHRISTINE L. PETERSON
Dec 26, 2025
The Bakersfield Californian

For her birthday, Roshonda Cureton took a solo trip to Hawaii.
She didn’t take along her husband of 15 years, although she takes trips with him, too. When she travels with someone, she wants to make sure they’re OK. What time do they want to leave for an adventure? Where do they want to eat? This time, the licensed marriage and family therapist did exactly what she wanted to do, when she wanted to do it, all by herself. The director of Behavioral Health at Omni Family Health said when it comes to positive mental health, she always encourages people to engage in some form of self-care. A trip to Hawaii may not be in the cards for everyone. But perhaps there is an opportunity for a massage. Or getting your nails done. Or just sitting by water or even taking an hour for a bath. “Whatever you disconnect from is still going to be there when you get done,” said Cureton, so take some time just for you.
At the new year people will set goals or resolutions such as exercising more, eating healthy or spending time with family. Those can be great, Cureton said, but do something for you. To that end, she advocates setting realistic goals. Make sure you aren’t comparing yourself to others, she explained. What one person may be able to do might not be realistic for the next person due to circumstances, health, holding more than one job, wearing multiple hats with your family and other obligations. “You want to identify what is realistic for you,” Cureton said. When you say you want to exercise more, for example, be specific. Is that running a particular distance? Is that joining a sports team? What is your objective? Identify that. Identify what is motivating you, and once you define that, you can set a realistic goal. “If we only do something based on what we see our neighbors do, then we have no investment in it,” Cureton said. Investment leads to motivation.
She also emphasizes tangible goals. If your goal is to increase physical activity, look at your environment. What resources are available to you? Can you walk safely in your particular neighborhood? Someone else might hop on YouTube and find indoor walking exercises, guiding them to walk a mile in their living room versus going to a gym three times a week. Some people can’t afford a gym or wouldn’t get there anyway with their obligations. Identify the resources available to you and what you can access, Cureton said.
Whatever your goal, start small. Once you are motivated and really doing what you set out to do, then add. Consider your mindset. Tell yourself there are 24 hours in a day. If you can find one hour to watch television, you can tell yourself that hour can go to walking. “A lot of times we say ‘I just don’t have the time. I just don’t have the time,” Cureton said.
She also urges positive interactions with family and friends. One person might say he or she doesn’t have time. Another person, who has experienced a lot of death in their family, may want to prioritize spending time with remaining family. Be realistic about what that looks like for you, Cureton said. You might work five days a week. But perhaps you commit to visiting a different family member one day per month. Or you schedule that at 5 p.m. every Thursday, you’ll call a different family member. A key, Cureton suggested, is being intentional with your goals.
Omni Family Health’s Behavioral Health Department has licensed therapists, along with a medication management team of mental health nurse practitioners and psychiatrists for people who need such services.

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Over at Clinica Sierra Vista, Marisa Trebizo, senior director of Behavioral Health, shared many suggestions for the new year that she tries to encourage among clients, and works to implement herself. It’s important to know your goals, or where you want to go, the licensed marriage and family therapist said. “You can’t get to a location unless you know where you are going,” Trebizo said.
She suggests practicing mindfulness, focusing on the present and where you are at right now. Am I hungry? Do I need to take care of that? Do I have a headache? Do I need to take care of that? Mindfulness is taking care of the exact moment and the things you can control now, Trebizo said. She gave an example: Maybe you have a hard time turning off your laptop, thinking that’s 30minutes of work you can accomplish while eating. But maybe we need to disconnect from the workday for a little while, eat, perhaps also read a book, take a short walk or socialize a bit. Just sitting there hungry can make you irritable and prone to errors, but a break will bring you back better.
People can induce anxiety or depression by looking too far into the future, or too far into the past, Trebizo said. “If you stay more focused on the present, you give yourself more grace, because there is only so much you can do in a day,” she said. Practice gratitude. Focus on what you have. Perhaps it’s saying: I have a job to go to today, and some people don’t. Set healthy boundaries. Know what is good for you and walk away from what’s not good for you.
Sleep! Not everyone may realize what a lack of sleep can do to you physically, bringing brain fog and mistakes — and then you berate yourself.
Stay connected to the people who support you. Conversely, stay away from people who bring you down. “We are hard enough on ourselves,” Trebizo said. “Why do we want to be around those who make us feel worse?” Be cognizant of social media — people post what is the “best,” but it’s not always real or sustained. Keep active in the form that’s best for you, whether it’s walking, yoga or other exercise. Trebizo said she tries to practice a lot of these suggestions herself. “If you can’t commit and show up for yourself, how can you commit and show up for other people?” she asked.
And what about when you think “I am so stressed out?” Break it down, Trebizo said. What can you take care of right now, such as taking the kids where they need to go, or tackling one piece of the bigger project due in two days. “Try to take care of you so you can be present to take care of the rest,” she said.
Also, Trebizo said, there is nothing wrong with taking some time to get the help of a therapist.

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Think about intentions, not necessarily goals. That’s a suggestion from Michelle Culy, an associate marriage and family therapist and administrator with Kern Linkage at Kern Behavioral Health & Recovery Services. She shared an idea from one of her professors: When you go home, wash your hands. Put what has happened behind you. Be mindful of preventative measures: Get your annual physical. Take your prescribed medication. Go to the dentist. Go back to the basics. Start with small goals on the road to change, Culy suggested. Look for tiny wins. Instead of starting intent on running for 1 mile, start with a good 5- to 10-minute walk and keep building. Or if you’re overweight, keep working to substitute water for soda.
She also emphasized setting appropriate boundaries, noting that “sometimes we feel the need to please others,” and practicing grounding skills such as mindfulness, journaling, breathing, counting backward or thinking of positive affirmations. “Even going outside and breathing fresh air can change your mindset,” Culy said. For those who need help, Culy said, Kern Behavior Health & Recovery Services offers assessments and help accessing care and figuring out benefits.
The Suicide & Crisis Lifeline can be reached by calling 988.